Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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