I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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