The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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