I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize