I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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