If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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