Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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