i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize