Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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