i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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