Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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