so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
