So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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