If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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