The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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