Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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