Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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