I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
