i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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