I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
