I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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