dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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