if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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