He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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