Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
