what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
