If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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