I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
