My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
