How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
