Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
