Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
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whose ass print is on the piano?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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