you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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