he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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