I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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