is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
