my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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