After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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