Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
