Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
this just has baby written all over it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
