there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
