I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
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Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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