Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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