Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
