I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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