This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
