Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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