I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
