it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
