I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
