So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
