four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
