after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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