That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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