I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
