I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
