You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
