nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
