Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
