Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
