lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
