I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
