Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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