she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
