I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
