i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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