I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
