It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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