"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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